Thursday, September 11, 2014

Mom Wars

    I just don't get it. Why do we always seem to tear people down? Why do we always have to at like we are the prefect parent?

   I logged into Facebook and checked a page I rarely post to. I rarely post to this page because the moms, who are all twin moms, are horrid to each other. It is sad really because having multiples is hard enough. Having another multiple mom tear you down makes you feel even worse.
 
  The poor lady posted about her bad day and how she got upset with another mom with one kid at the grocery store because she took the double cart. She was just venting because she already had a hard day before the grocery store and she was hoping for just a little bit of peace. Well it didn't happen. The MoMs tore her apart on the site. Why? I can only guess they are perfect and have wonderful rainbow, unicorn and glitter days.  No one is perfect. Why can't we show compassion instead of mean nasty words towards someone?

  That wasn't the first time I have seen other moms tearing each other down. It is sad. Why can't we just look at each other and say, "Hey, I know you are doing the best that you can. We all are".


 So here's to you moms. I know you are doing what you think is best and right for your kids. I know that some days we lose some days we win. I know that some days are a heck of a lot harder than other days. We are all just doing the best we can.

Glitter, rainbows and unicorns to all!

Monday, June 2, 2014

So hard

I have no may ideas and things I need to do but I never seem to get them finished. Why? I am a procrastinator. Plus my kids are just too darn cute not to spend every minute with. Well almost every minute.

Organizing is not my strong suit. Meal planning has gone down the shoot. My house looks like a tornado hit is and then came back and hit it again.

I need to just do it.

I have got to get together a calender for the summer. This includes activities for all the kids and for the first time ever home school plans. I think that the home school planning is making me a bit nervous. I have no idea were to start, how to assess, etc... I have my seven yr olds cursive learning folder done, that is it. Next week is the first full week of summer vacation! YIKES! The younger kids I have no clue... Best get to work on that huh?



Meal planning... yea...

I did do it for awhile. It kind of slipped away from me. We are back to eating the same stuff over and over again. The reason: I know how to cook the stuff we eat over and over again. Reading recipes takes time. Time I usually don't have when cooking since I have screaming kids on my legs. I seriously need to do better though. We've eaten horribly the last few months.



The big one:

Cleaning out the house. I don't' seem to ever have time do it. I honestly have taken out about three trash bags full of just toys. It hasn't even scratched the surface of what needs to go. What is sad is that my kids don't play with over half of what they get for Christmas and birthdays.  We have over flow and it just looks bad in the play room. No matter how many times I organize it. (Yes, I do actually do that.) It looks like a huge mess.



Regular cleaning:


Oh yes. I really don't like to clean because it means I have to move the thousands of items on the floor.  I do dust what I can and I vacuum on average five times a day.  But dusting and folding laundry hahahaha. My couch is a clothing catcher and my entertainment center is a breeding place for dust mites.




So how to get it done... I have no clue. Keep chugging along.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Climbing high

I guess I saw it coming but just didn't let it sink in.

I have a climber. An 11 month old climber.

It started off small. She climbed into little kiddie chairs. Climbed up on me while we sat. Try to nurse upside down. Climbed up the porch steps. I really just did not think much about it. Until.....

She climbed up the rock wall on the big kids play equipment. Oh no we are in trouble.  I hung out clothing and I had just looked back to check were the kids were. (We are fenced in the back yard.)  I turned back around and hung two items of clothing on the line. Turned back around and BAM there was my sweet little baby girl half way up the rock wall. I promptly took her down and put in her in the swing.

Next item she climbed was the recliner. She didn't just stop at the seat. Oh no that would be too easy. She climbed onto the top back of the seat. Lesson learned not to leave the room with her in it.


My desk top isn't immune either. Let to go potty and she was on top of my lap top. She learned how to make the mouse disappear.... Was not fun rebooting and figuring out how to make it reappear. (I'm not computer savvy people.)


Finally scare mom moment was when she climbed up on the big people chairs onto the kitchen table. I will never go potty again without her.


The question is how in the world do you stop her?  I don't really think there is a way. She is going to have to learn on her own like all the other kiddos. I'm sure falling is in our future. It happens. We haven't had any broken bones yet!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Rain

Praise the Lord we finally got rain here in the south! I think the kids were stunned this morning when they looked out their windows! Plus the rain made for good sleeping weather since Brayden slept in a few more minutes than normal and the girls about half an hour. This is major since we are all usually up no later than 6:30 am!

We have been a bit lazy today since we can't go outside and play. That is okay though. Sometimes we need the nice lazy days to just recoup from out wild crazy busy lives.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Learned a valuable lesson

So today  learned a valuable life lesson that honestly I should have already figured out.

Never vent about anything online.

Never do it.

I don't have much time for adult conversation considering I have four under three years of age. They are in the stage of getting into everything no matter what and I never get a break. I am Mom 24/7 even when Dad is at home.

I know I am stretched very line. I also know that this will not last.

I also complain about the dumb things hubby says and does and yes he does alot of things. He has a short temper.  This doesn't make him a bad person.  It upsets me greatly but does not make him a bad person. Nor does it make me a bad parent.

We don't agree on our parenting at all. I'm more laid back go with the flow because I am here all the time. If I were more strict I'd go CRAZY.  He is more strict and he is a spanker, I am not. I grew up having parents like that but reversed. My Mom was the spanker, my Dad... I can't remember my Dad ever disciplining me.  Now I do discipline my kids. They get time alone. My tornado three year old Brayden can't stand time alone. It works for him. The others I have never really had to give them time alone. Usually talking to the others works.  Different kids, different disciplines.

I admit we are extremely stressed out. Money wise we are screwed.  I keep the attitude of God provides what we need and when we need it. Hubby makes the income. He feels that he has all this responsibility on it and it makes his short temper even shorter. And yes he yells at me infront of the kids. (I never remember my parents doing that at all which could be why this shocks me so much. I can't even remember my parents having a conversation in front of us. Though my Mom reassures me that they did but I can't recall one at all).
People fight, they get mad, they get over it. No one is perfect at all.

I used to share in a group on facebook. I loved these woman. But I guess I over shared due to no adult contact. I shared what I would consider good news and bad news and the things my kids were doing that drove me crazy.  I won't say what I was told because I feel a bit violated. Especially coming from someone who has had problems of their own.

I guess the whole point is don't judge people. They don't know everything. They don't know how hard my hubby does work to support us. They don't know he tries to find side work when he can. They don't know our struggles or our joys. They don't know now he cooks supper when I am too tired or gets up to go put a child back to bed for the third time that night. Yes he can be a complete jerk but he can be sweet. May be just may be I am the issue, not him. They just don't know.

Maybe they don't understand that I have highly active children. They get into everything. It really is their age and it will pass. They don't know that I took my four kids out shopping alone and they were perfect angels. I even had two of the walking instead of in the stroller.

Whole point is don't judge.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The hardest post (Miscarriage post with details please be warned)

We only told a few people. I wanted to wait till I absolutely had to tell people due to the enlarged belly.  I was pregnant. I had morning sickness and sleepless nights. I started wearing maternity clothing due to my expanding middle. The appointment with my OB was made so that I would be nine week along. We went in. I measured only six weeks. I convinced myself that maybe I was off somehow. I mean we were preventing, not trying and I could have ovulated later, implanted later. Who knows right.  I made an appointment to come back the next week. The baby only measured around five weeks at that point with no heart beat.  Heart break.

I think the hardest part of having a natural m/c is the waiting. You know you had/have this baby inside of you and you know it is no longer really with you. You still have pregnancy symptoms. I craved things. I looked pregnant. I felt pregnant but really I no longer was.  I never knew when I'd start losing the baby. I went around wearing pads just in case. Two weeks went by with nothing and finally I started to spot. I spotted lightly four days, bleed medium for two and then one night all heck let lose.

I woke up while nursing my ten month old with cramping. I couldn't' move because she was nursing back to sleep and if I moved it would have kept her up with me. Finally she fell back to sleep and I got out of bed. I laid in bed cramping badly for about three hours. My husbands alarm clock went off at 5:45 and I got up. I ended up in the bathroom. I took a nice hot shower and started having contractions. Yes, I went into full blown labor. I've never experienced full blown labor.

Never in my life have I experienced so much pain. I couldn't move, contractions were every minute or so and got closer and closer. I had no pain medication and my husband started insisting I go to the ER. I kept telling him no. I was in no shape to even try to walk to the car. Three hours into it I finally passed my baby and placenta all at once.  Then there was calm.



I must say that the woman who go through this once, twice, three times, etc.. Ya'll are extremely brave and strong woman. I don't know if my heart could do that. I know it is something a lot of people don't talk about. No one wants to talk about death. Especially when it is a baby. So most live in silence. We have. Only a few people knew I was pregnant. A lot of the people weren't related to us.


Now a few weeks later I still have a tummy that I am trying to get rid of. I feel mad/sad/okay all at the same time. I see people announcing births and pregnancy and I'm happy for them and sad at the same time. We didn't plan to get pregnant. We always try to prevent but God had other plans and I'm sure there is a reason for this. I wish I knew it.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

One of those days

Yes. We are having that day right now. The kind of day where as a mom I just want to go to a room by myself for more than one minute and just breath. It didn't start out as that kind of day. It seems that whenever the older boys get home from school all hades breaks loose. The kids I just fed want food, the clothing I just put into a box gets dumped out for Brayden to play in and the baby and second to youngest won't stop screaming.   I know these are the days I will miss one day but right now I just want to run out of the house and scream at the top of my lungs but I can't. I am Mom.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Common Core

The more I read about Common Core the more upset I get. I do live in a state where it is implemented. The kids used to bring home spelling words. It has been phased out. I make my children read at least 15 minutes a day but only the 1st grader is required to do so, at least that is how it is right now. The 1st grader also bring home math based on base ten. I have no issue with that right now. When it gets more complicated... I might have an issue. I will end up having to teach my children simple stacking because who is going to balance their check book using base ten? 

A lot of things about this upsets me. I am for having standards across the country. That isn't a bad idea. I just wonder why the U.N. is involved in American education. 

Right here it is:
http://www.esdtoolkit.org/esd_toolkit_v2.pdf
page ten last two paragraphs.


I have a big family. I have birthed five children. I have one step child. I have gone to college. Thank you for the stereo type. 

Now I am about to stereo type our government. I think most of the are idiots. They are either spoiled rich people or they were once normal people but on the way forgot what normal was. I see our country falling apart. It's sad but we are raising children who aren't going to be able to simple math without making a huge problem out of it. Children who do not know how to sign their own name in cursive. (How are they going to sign binding legal documents?)  Children who are going to be put on career paths in 6th grade. (I'd be a preacher right now people. Those of you who know me know that is not a bright idea. I'd never sleep for worrying about the people who were in my church.) 

There are just so many issues with CC. So many I can't cover them all. 

I know I could home school. But, I think the woman who do are amazing woman, I can't handle that right now. I am not organized enough. I soon may have to get organized though.  


I will get reading and researching and praying.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

How do they do that?

 I just don't get it. There are a ton of big families out there that home school, blog, keep a cleaner house than mine, and cook from scratch.
 HOW DO THEY DO IT????

I personally have the hardest time sitting at a computer. As I type right now I have a bouncing 6 month old in my lap. Earlier I had two three years old pulling on me and a 22 month old wanting my attention. I just can't understand how they do it? How they write huge long blogs every few days. I can't barely get out a paragraph or two. If you are a mom of many and read this please enlighten me in comments!

Also how do they have the time to organize homeschooling? I barely can figure out what to teach my pre- schoolers each day and let me tell you; some days they are taught nothing. We do talk about things each day like colors and shapes. But arts and crafts just don't always happen. Example: AddieGrace just came up to me and said,"I like butterflies". So we had a conversation about butterflies. How do you plan that? How in the world do you teach kids of varying ages each day what they need to know without one dominating?

And I am now getting interrupted again with a care bear necklace.


And my blogs are random.  I am on one topic to the next because I get interrupted so much. If I re-read and re-typed everything I'd never blog. Which some of you are thinking, "Please stop the blogging!"
I know I know random at it's finest,




Back on topic here.  How are they cooking from scratch?
I tried to home make buttermilk biscuits last night. As is the usual husband was outside so I had all the younger kids (4 of them) with me. I had to break up fights, screaming matches, kids running off with stuff, etc...     Then I get the "I want to eat eat". My kids don't say it, they YELL it.  (Now they are fighting over a chair.) I can barely cook hot dogs (Brayden just climbed on me.)  Let alone anything that requires thought. I have cooked things and let ingredients out and we have had to suffer through the meal.



Cleaning. I swear I do it. I do it a lot during the day. So why does my house look like a tornado went through it?  I vacuum ALL THE TIME.  (Brayden is fake sneezing all over my keyboard and Anna is tugging at my shirt. Emma Kate is handing me a sock.)    I am constantly cleaning up spills, pee, food and whatever else these babies do during the day. My husbands gets home and wonders why I haven't done anything all day. Nice huh?


So please my fellow momma's tell me how you do it? (Now to get the baby that is tugging on me.)

Sunday, January 19, 2014

The rough road ahead

I confess I am a slacker mom. It isn't for lack of trying but my three year old twins are still not potty trained. My first son was easy. No issues. No playing in the poop phase. The twins are a while different ball game. I feel like I have puppies in my house.AddieGrace just didn't care. I have tried bribery. Candy, make up (Yes I have a 33 year old diva trapped in a 3 yr olds body.), promising to do her room in princesses, getting her ears pierced.... Finally this past week it has partially clicked! 
Brayden on the other hand. Well he is Brayden. I can't count how many times I have cleaned up after he has played in his poop or peed everywhere. I have even made him clean up his own pee. Which I think back fired since the boy loves to clean.  I just go with the flow with him.

Now on to Emma Kate's paci. Hubby says it is time for it to go. I keep saying that is not a battle I am willing to get into right now.  She is after all only 22 months and very attached to her pap-pap.


We are also in the process of moving Emma Kate into the big girl room with AddieGrace and moving Brayden back into the room with Avery.  Last summer was a flop. Brayden and Avery would stay up and play. Brayden still woke up a ton at night. I am hoping that since he will be older this go round he might do better.   

Doing all this is going to take some work. Which is why I am so random and exhausted. I know they won't go to school without being potty trained and I know Emma Kate won't sport a pap-pap the rest of her life. I just feel pressured to get it all done. But, the kids will do it in their own time.  

Thursday, January 2, 2014

End of an old year, Beginning of a new

As the old year closed I reflected upon all that went on:
New house
New baby

and all the little things that added up

Stress over finances
Family Discord


Then I asked myself, "What really changes when we begin a new year?"
I know that the date changes and people make a whole lot of resolutions that usually end within a month of two of making them but what really changes?

I concluded nothing.
We are still getting older, the children are still growing up, stress over finances will continue and there will always be family discord of some type.

But we can strive to make little changes in ourselves and outlooks. I know not everything is permanent and things can change in the blink of an eye.  Crap happens, good things happen.  We just have to make sure that good out weighs bad.